How do you balance your friends? Women are notorious for talking about one friend behind their back with another friend then not disclosing that information to the talked about friend. A friend of my family once told me when I was a kid that “You know someone talks about you when you are not around when they talk about others when they are not around to you” and somehow that shaped my friendship style and followed me for the rest of my life! Like literally I am afraid of breaking a bond if I talk negatively about another friend when they are not around. Now I joke don’t mistake me what-so-ever, but I will be able to disclose what I said because it had NO ill intent. I like to ask the question “Would they be offended by this?” and if the answer is yes, I shut up! I’ve noticed in this social media age that a lot of people just don’t know when to be quiet!
By balancing though, I mean do you balance your most amazing thoughtful friends with the friends who are secretly jealous and don’t have your best interests? Because that is definitely not fair and another thing I think we do as friends that we just don’t realize until we lose a great friend. I know there may be some confusion on this topic so Ill try to clear it up.
When you plan a party that involves everyone splitting money and time, you see who really gives a sh** right? Well on the other hand your really good friends are like “how in the world does this person I give my all for is friends with this selfish person? Didn’t they cancel on me before to go hang out with them” etc. You will have friends that are willing to participate in your party 110% while watching your other friends barely put in any work. And I’ve heard this story many times from bridesmaids ladies! Beware who you ask to stand next to you because there is no way you have 18 true friends! Just sayin…usually the true friends are the ones you know you can call in the middle of the night to come bail you out of the police station lol. Thats who needs to be standing next to you, and that is who needs the most balance.
You just have to be mindful of things like that when balancing friends, and also vice versa. You cannot be upset when a friend tells you no because they have to be there for someone else. Maybe you aren’t the closest and that is ok we all have a place in life with different people. Accepting that is maturity.